Officially Sucks

Your friend sucks. Now there’s paperwork: a paid first-name joke with three announcements and a shareable certificate.

10/12/2026

About This Site

What is it?

The internet already lets you say your friend sucks. Officially Sucks adds paperwork: enter one first name, hear three spoken announcements, and get a shareable humorous certificate. It is a joke, not an assessment of anyone.

Browsing is free. Buying a declaration is optional and paid; new names start at C$1 before tax. Payments for the same name fund a shared price ladder that doubles when each level is full.

How to play

Browse the public site and choose one first name.
Pick a voice and review the current price before buying.
After payment, hear “[name] sucks” three times and download or share your certificate. Sound is needed for the announcements.
For adults 18+: use your own name, a fictional name, or a friend who is in on the joke. Nothing is automatically sent to that person.